The Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say or do something you will regret later.

- Author Unknown

Above is not mine ...... :), though this one is so beautiful almost poetic, so here it goes

We Fail Everyday

We all fail every day, from the second we wake up till the time we go to sleep, we fail. We fail to wake up on time; we fail to get breakfast right, we fail to hold on calories, we fail in a conference calls, we fail in conversations with the team. There are these small failures that we face since we wake up to the time we sleep.
Somebody can say that, in a way, we succeed as well every day. Though what I want to focus on is the failure, since somebody said failure stays with us ten times more than success. Add to that, our own biases, most of us are not arrogant and have grown up with strong notions of being sensitive to what others tell us, feel about us etc. etc. That will make an impact of failures "10 times more" even multiply more on us. That is why failures can easily suck our energy and focus. If we let failure overcome us, this paralyzes us and paralyzes us for few minutes, or hours. The worse is that it paralyzes us for some crucial seconds when our brain should be going what do I do to recover the situation.
We need to keep our mind and body in the condition that is ready to take the impacts and hits of failure every second, every day. Let's do some preventive maintenance, so our body (car) doesn't break down on every bump, every strong break or tight turn.
Some simple rules can be followed to lessen the impact.
i) Transactional interactions do not govern the long-term goals. So with every transaction fails, ask brain to stop thinking "force-Maure," i.e. my promotion is gone, I need new role etc. etc. The long-term goals achievement is like staying healthy, you do get your indulgences, though till you are doing few things right (i.e., hitting the gym regularly), the body will hold up. So if your brain takes you to long-term goals, tell him STOP, this was just a transaction. Over time train brain to understand that it was just a transaction, no point being paranoid about it. Believe in the longevity of life and fruitlessness of our end result in life.
ii) Set expectations right, now with years in the corporate world or growing up. You understand yourself better than others. No point trying to fool yourself. In every given situation set your expectations based on your past record and your capabilities. Most of the fails are since you go beyond your own ability. So with every fail is an opportunity to re-set your expectations and see what you can achieve. Once again always remember fruitlessness of the end result in life.
iii) Take breaks at short intervals, This is not about taking mandatory annual breaks, frankly, most of us do not even take those to re-adjust compass, and if you have a posting in other country and visit the home country in these breaks. You come back more fatigued than rejuvenated. These are the breaks weekly or maybe twice a week. These are breaks just to let brain get some time to relax (perhaps meditation). It is like breaking the flow whether on a good flow or downward spiral. When on good flow, chances of making mistakes, it makes sense to stop and rethink, based on above two points. It does not make sense to run a 100 yards fast while you have to run a full mile. When on a downward spiral, this is an absolute must for course correction. How many times sports team have lost games since they failed to slow down the game.
iv) Know your team and talk to your team. So who is your team, who is on your side in life and in an organization? In a nutshell, who got your back? Write down on a piece of paper these names. The names should not be more than 3-4. These are the people you are talking to when you are taking your break. These are the people you are keeping in touch. These are the people who are your well-wishers. These are the people who will call out loud and be true to you.
To end, the fruitlessness of the end result is philosophical from Gita; you do not take anything with you at the end of life for the final journey. You do not remember who was the 7th King of any kingdom, or 9th president of any country. It's about the journey and enjoying it, it is not about where you reach. Smell the roses and listen to leaves......... failures will not impact you, live a life.

Right Amount of Carrot and Stick and Ownership

We seem to be creating a world where flexibility and patience is becoming lesser and lesser of virtues. 

The thought process started after reading multiple news items about kids shouldn't be disciplined physically i.e. slapping etc by teachers and parents. I don't support slapping or physical punishment. Though the pressure teachers and parents are in isn't funny. Kid just goes his own way, how do you manage him/her. If they are in control good, if they aren't and just keep answering you back, what the option is left. Funny is same society that puts these rules on teachers and parents, do not take ownership when things go wrong.

Controversial, but didn't we in current generation, go through all this. Are we deranged, confused human beings. Most of us aren't....

So controlling the punishment so that it doesn't have permanent damage is fine. Still pushing to a point that discipline itself becomes causality, in that case we will have bigger challenge.

Take this thought processes in every part of life, there is always a balance, and as humans we won't ever find perfect balance, we can strive for it.

Same thought going forward, why should Cigarette companies pay compensation. Its like person commits suicide the company that made the rope by which he hanged himself gets sued.

Do Not Make Peace with Devil

Utopia is a real or imaginary society, place, state, etc., considered to be perfect or ideal. As a kid Utopia is what we are taught; Utopia is what we grew up believing in. The police officer will always be upright; an engineer will know all the laws of engineering, a relative will always be good to you, politicians are suppose to do good job etc. etc. We are made to believe all is well in the world and we had to simply grow up and go about the usual business where everything would be fair and right.
Then the dreadful thing happens, all of us really grow up and came face to face with reality of life. The things we never thought existed stare us in our face. We now hear things like “life is not a level playing field” “world works in its own ways” “laws of science don’t work in life’ “who told you I will support you” “pay me to get work done” “be careful of everybody”.
Some of us accept the new reality and some of us take time. Finally each of us find a way to cope with it. In many of us it manifests in our behavior “Some of us became gregarious to avoid facing the truth” “Some of us became contemplative” “Some of us just ignored it and got immersed oneself in our lives and , work and family” “Some became activist” etc. etc. We all call it being focused and trying to achieve something in life, may be that is not that bad, though at the same time we forgot that most of us are making compromises. .

The World has both God and Devil holds true. Pick any religion, philosopher, writer or even simple rationalist, all will agree with this. The actual words can be, “different shades of grey”, “two sides of a coin” or as simple as “good and bad in the world. Though all would agree and believe that world has two faces to it, and I prefer to call it GOD and DEVIL.

Most of us are introduced to God very early in life, and all about him is taught to us, though we are kept away from devil by all well meaning elders. We are suppose to believe in God and act as per God’s will and not the Devil’s However the challenge is that when we move away from our support system, we face the devil, and worse we are left alone to deal with him when, nobody has ever told / taught us how to? Then one day it dawns upon us that the world is made of good and evil and then we make peace with devil. We understand that for the good to exist, evil will be lurking behind, for god to prevail, devil will be present.

When we make peace with devil, we are called grown up? We now know how to manage the world? We know how to handle situations? In the context of devil, where we face the devil i.e. corruption, bullying or just plain simple lying, we still learn to live with it. That is also called coming to age. Though making peace with devil is the worst thing that happens to a human being. That is when a human being dies. When we become living corpses? Look at corporate world full of living corpses, the flawed goal of life is to get next promotion; spirituality is a good word to write essay on, physical fitness is required to manage the rigors of the world hence patience required for yoga isn’t possible. Corporate world was an example; even worse kinds we find may be in government where most don’t even have a goal, not even a flawed one like next promotion, as well businessmen chasing the goal of making money? These all are way of camouflaging our inability to subdue devil. In all this we camouflage our peace with devil in the name of I have do it for family? I have to show my parents or somebody that I am can achieve something?
This peace with devil by each one of us makes us a bit of devil ourselves, it makes devil stronger. Since devil like god also stays within us. The small parts of devils in all of us in summation create the bigger devil in society and system. What this devil does to society and system, we all know and have felt at some time or other in smaller or greater degree.
So may be at some point, we need a little education about devil during growing up. A small amount of sensitivity to know how to manage this devil, and little amount of training how not to fall for devil with in us.
In a sense to tell us “How not to grow up, by not making peace with devil, and how not to fall for devil within, make us understand that its small devils inside which make of bigger devil of society? How to grow up by following God within us and subduing/ minimizing/ nullifying devil within?

In a sense to understand there is devil out there though don’t make peace with it, since that only feeds it, and makes it even more dangerous for me, for you, for my family, for your family and for society.

Hope Laws of Economies Won't Work in Extreme Conditions

They say when it comes it comes big…………… its more like a last straw on camel’s back. Things may keep piling up the straws and nobody notices till camel finally goes down.
First we as individuals were introduced to the life of credit. Its so cool concept, one can live on something that we haven’t earned. We can live life on credit and be happy about it. Though this doesn’t stop here than we have companies who decide they can live on credit and hedge on future income through banks. Than we took next step ahead and banks started living on credit on future income, and finally there is no where income is going to come from, so we look at crash.
May be its not this simple, there are lots of systems, companies and instruments build around to keep the money flow going. So there are valuations to give credit, and there are risk ratings etc. etc. Though core of the challenge remains that we had reversed the flow of money, money was suppose to go to a place where it sees value. We turned the game on its head and we put the money first since we thought that there will be value. Finally when for once value didn’t come we needed to turn the tide, reverse the flow. Though that wasn’t part of equation, and neither natural, hence somebody has to pay the price and fill the gap.
For people not being able to pay credit, many of us paid in some way i.e. late payment interests, annual charges, discounts from retailers that should have come to us all were/are payments we made for defaulters. We reached a state that credit failing started messing up so big, that banks started failing. Hence we had countries bailing out banks on credit, so effectively again good people and good banks and companies are paying for bad ones.
The way I look at it equation is simple. The banks used our money (post tax money), now they are using my tax money (we paid to government) to bail themselves out. Hence it’s surely a case of good guys paying for bad guys. This is very small part of the problem, we are sitting on a much larger and scary prospect here...
Here we are sitting at a level where companies do fail and is expected and part of life and we are getting used to it. We are reaching second stage where we are getting used to banks failing. We are sitting at the onset of third phase of decadence that countries may start failing, since these are the countries that are now supporting the failing people, companies and banks.
The standard laws of physics don't work in extreme material conditions and that's true for most of the laws. So hopefully basic economic laws won't work when we reach at final frontier of countries living on credit and failing due to credit crunch and I hope we will be able to save this planet.
Save this planet, am I going overboard, I think not, since once a country defaults, it has to increase consumption, and one way to do that is WAR, so last resort of a country when it defaults on credit is war, US is keeping its economy going precisely by war for last many years. Hopefully we won't reach there.......... hopefully laws of economies like many other laws won’t work in extreme final frontier and we will be saved…

Jackson and India Love Affair

It’s a strange feeling as I saw the news of MJ passing away of heart attack. Somehow it wasn’t like any other news of another celebrity passing away. Somehow it leaves vacuum somewhere.
Now why is that many of us feel so strongly about it, may be many of us will feel not that strongly but close to this if Madonna passes away. Since its part of our growing away, beat it and material girl were as much part of discussions as much as trigonometry, or solar systems. In small towns beyond bollywood music meant Jackson, Madonna or may be Boney M, though Boney M never grew beyond few songs. Another factor could be since Jackson had music and dance as part of his art. He was less about songs and more about music to many of us, his dance was, that left many of spell bound, and in awe. That suited Indian mind that revels on class and something out of ordinary. His beats were what we related with, the one’s who graduated from beats also found meaning in his songs.
From “Beat It” to “They don’t care about us”, is so true for a generation that’s dependent on government and process to support them, and find it difficult when same government and process turn on them and doesn’t support. So go back and see MJ was pouring himself out in his songs, and a generation who understood him, and resonated with him loved him. Though being an artist he consumed himself with his feelings, which many of us are able to suppress and live life. The sensitive soul of an Artist was always trying to mingle and being accepted in this world, without realizing that none of us at any level is anytime been accepted in this world completely. It’s only on occasions where this world passes us and other times it browbeats us. This innocence of an artist who made an attempt to be accepted by the world and then not being able to win this, consuming his own life out of it is so poignant and so much resonates with feelings many of us feel in our lonely hours. We a whole generation has lived life trying to get accepted in the world where we were free citizens now, in family where we were masters of our destiny and where ever we went. It was a generation burdened by load of freedom to prove themselves that MJ resonated with.
Today when he is gone, there is loss a sense of loss that part of my personal history is gone.

Terrorism

Its a touchy subject and its tough to manage subject. Its been giving me sleepless nights at times. How can somebody just stand up and blow himself up, how can somebody plant explosives and blow people up. What does it take for a human to become so inhuman?

Now people have been cruel and have killed people in all kinds of reasons All these reasons have been put up as beliefs, whether its religion, communism, land or language.

So once a person harms other person due to any belief and isn't ready tobe flexible that's terrorism. Today we see Islamic terrorism in front of us in more pronounced form. Though haven't we seen this always in history.

So what is terrorism, its when one person or community refuses to give other margin for discussion, and theory of live and let live is forgotten. Now this seems to enshrined in some beliefs that they can't live with others, though followers of that belief should understand this quickly and make adjustment.

Lets look from other prespective, religion changes every 1000 years and new religion comes in every 1000 to 2000 years, country maps change every 100 years, just look at maps in 1700, 1800, 1900 or 2000 AD, language changes even faster. So why people get lost and don't understand this basic.

Only thing that stays are basic human principles of peace and live and let live...

Buddhism despite absolutley peaceful religion still grew all over the world. Gandhi changed world without violence. Same is good with Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandella. Hence its not that violence will give people what they are looking for. They are going to lose finally, since they aren't working on changing people, they are trying to force people.

Finally, violence doesn't give nobody anything in long run, hence killing people doesn't have any long term impact except short term pain for victim and long term pain for perperator. So focus on working on fundamentals of peace and live and let live, and world will be with you.

I have so much more to write on this, though its so draining, so may be some other day.