The Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say or do something you will regret later.

- Author Unknown

Above is not mine ...... :), though this one is so beautiful almost poetic, so here it goes

We Fail Everyday

We all fail every day, from the second we wake up till the time we go to sleep, we fail. We fail to wake up on time; we fail to get breakfast right, we fail to hold on calories, we fail in a conference calls, we fail in conversations with the team. There are these small failures that we face since we wake up to the time we sleep.
Somebody can say that, in a way, we succeed as well every day. Though what I want to focus on is the failure, since somebody said failure stays with us ten times more than success. Add to that, our own biases, most of us are not arrogant and have grown up with strong notions of being sensitive to what others tell us, feel about us etc. etc. That will make an impact of failures "10 times more" even multiply more on us. That is why failures can easily suck our energy and focus. If we let failure overcome us, this paralyzes us and paralyzes us for few minutes, or hours. The worse is that it paralyzes us for some crucial seconds when our brain should be going what do I do to recover the situation.
We need to keep our mind and body in the condition that is ready to take the impacts and hits of failure every second, every day. Let's do some preventive maintenance, so our body (car) doesn't break down on every bump, every strong break or tight turn.
Some simple rules can be followed to lessen the impact.
i) Transactional interactions do not govern the long-term goals. So with every transaction fails, ask brain to stop thinking "force-Maure," i.e. my promotion is gone, I need new role etc. etc. The long-term goals achievement is like staying healthy, you do get your indulgences, though till you are doing few things right (i.e., hitting the gym regularly), the body will hold up. So if your brain takes you to long-term goals, tell him STOP, this was just a transaction. Over time train brain to understand that it was just a transaction, no point being paranoid about it. Believe in the longevity of life and fruitlessness of our end result in life.
ii) Set expectations right, now with years in the corporate world or growing up. You understand yourself better than others. No point trying to fool yourself. In every given situation set your expectations based on your past record and your capabilities. Most of the fails are since you go beyond your own ability. So with every fail is an opportunity to re-set your expectations and see what you can achieve. Once again always remember fruitlessness of the end result in life.
iii) Take breaks at short intervals, This is not about taking mandatory annual breaks, frankly, most of us do not even take those to re-adjust compass, and if you have a posting in other country and visit the home country in these breaks. You come back more fatigued than rejuvenated. These are the breaks weekly or maybe twice a week. These are breaks just to let brain get some time to relax (perhaps meditation). It is like breaking the flow whether on a good flow or downward spiral. When on good flow, chances of making mistakes, it makes sense to stop and rethink, based on above two points. It does not make sense to run a 100 yards fast while you have to run a full mile. When on a downward spiral, this is an absolute must for course correction. How many times sports team have lost games since they failed to slow down the game.
iv) Know your team and talk to your team. So who is your team, who is on your side in life and in an organization? In a nutshell, who got your back? Write down on a piece of paper these names. The names should not be more than 3-4. These are the people you are talking to when you are taking your break. These are the people you are keeping in touch. These are the people who are your well-wishers. These are the people who will call out loud and be true to you.
To end, the fruitlessness of the end result is philosophical from Gita; you do not take anything with you at the end of life for the final journey. You do not remember who was the 7th King of any kingdom, or 9th president of any country. It's about the journey and enjoying it, it is not about where you reach. Smell the roses and listen to leaves......... failures will not impact you, live a life.